Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Euphemisms for Being Stupid

A beer short of a six pack
A couple of eggs shy of a dozen
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal
A few of sheep short of an orgy
A fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A safe distance from genius.
About as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
As much use as a one legged man at an ass kicking contest.
As much use as a priests knob at an orgy.
As much use as an ashtray on a motorcycle
As much use as Stevie Wonder at a beauty contest.
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
Bright as Alaska in December
Donated his body to science before he was done using it
Elevator don't quiet make the top floor
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching
He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
He had a little too much chlorine in his gene pool.
He is so dumb, the only thing he ever read was an eye-chart.
He played too much without a helmet
He's got a leak in his think-tank
He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If stupid were a talent, he would be considered gifted
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back
If you stand close enough to 'em you can hear the ocean
Its hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
Needing a few screws tightened
Not the sharpest pencil in the box
On/off switch is broken in the off position
Prime candidate for natural de-selection
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge but he just gargled
The elevator is stuck between floors.
The lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn’t coming
The lights are on, but nobody is home.
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead
Too dumb to pull his head in before he shuts the window
You can't call him an idiot, you'll insult all the idiots in the world.

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